For women leading in nonprofits—and anyone who has ever edited their leadership presence.
Dear Friends and Colleagues,
As we approach 2026, I’ve been reflecting on leadership presence in mission-driven work—what it requires, what it communicates, and what happens when we feel pressured to diminish it.
Not because we lack confidence.
Not because we lack competence.
But because we’ve learned—often subtly, sometimes painfully—that visibility can invite scrutiny, misinterpretation, or rejection.
And in mission-driven work, many of us are taught to believe that service and visibility are incompatible.
That if we shine too brightly, it becomes “too much.”
That when we carry ourselves with elegance, it might be read as unserious.
That if we speak with conviction, we’ll be labeled difficult instead of decisive.
First we edit. When that doesn’t work, we soften and over-explain. All of it serves one goal: to stay careful.
I know this dynamic because I’ve lived it.
I’m writing this as a reflection, but also as a truth I’ve had to learn firsthand. This is not a hypothesis for me. It’s lived experience. I’ve navigated seasons where my strengths were valued—until a shift in leadership made those same strengths feel “wrong.” I internalized feedback that was delivered without care, and it took time to realize the problem wasn’t my capability—it was the culture around me.
The Shift
There was a season when my approach worked—until a leadership shift changed what was rewarded. Suddenly, the same instincts that had served the mission were treated as missteps. The feedback came without nuance, and because the culture reinforced a single way of thinking, I began to believe I was always the problem.
It took maturity—and distance—to see that the issue wasn’t my competence. It was the environment. In an echo chamber, one style of leadership becomes the only acceptable one—and anything different gets framed as “wrong.”
That experience changes you. If you’re not careful, it doesn’t just influence how you lead—it begins to shape how you see yourself.
Presence Is Not Separate From Leadership
Your presence is not a distraction from the mission.
It is part of how the mission is carried.
Your joy is not frivolous.
Your refinement is not excessive.
Your voice is not too much.
Your desire for beauty, clarity, and excellence is not a liability.
Many nonprofit leaders—especially women—have been conditioned to believe that the safest path is to be endlessly capable and quietly invisible.
But you were never meant to disappear inside the work.
The Difference Between Being Managed and Being Led
One of the reasons “editing ourselves” becomes so common is that many nonprofit environments confuse management with leadership—and when that happens, the culture often rewards compliance over clarity.
Here’s a simple distinction that has helped me:
- Management protects the mission through clarity: plans, timelines, roles, and follow-through.
- Leadership advances the mission through meaning: direction, alignment, courage, and culture.
- The healthiest organizations need both—and they need them in the right order: direction first, then execution.
When leadership is strong, people feel oriented. They understand what matters, why it matters, and how their work connects to something larger.
When management is strong, people feel supported. They know what “done” looks like, how decisions are made, and what will keep the work moving.
But when either is missing—or when management becomes a substitute for leadership—people often start performing “acceptable” instead of practicing real leadership.
A Question to Carry Into 2026
If you’ve ever felt yourself shrinking in a room you were qualified to lead, consider this:
Where have I been editing myself—and what would shift if I didn’t?
Not in a performative way. Not as a loud reinvention. But as a steady decision to show up with less self-protection and more self-respect.
That might look like:
- speaking with clarity instead of cushioning every point,
- trusting your expertise without over-defending it,
- allowing your presence to be intentional—not apologetic,
- choosing rooms where your fullness is welcomed, not managed.
A Closing Thought
The most meaningful leadership shift many of us make isn’t about strategy. It’s about permission.
Permission to be seen.
Permission to be taken seriously without becoming smaller.
Permission to lead fully—without dimming.
And if you’re reading this and thinking, “This feels personal,” you’re right.
I’m writing it for you.
And I’m writing it for myself, too.
Fondly,
Monique
